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Rude Removal/Script
WARNING: The following transcript contains words that some readers may find uncomfortable. Viewer discretion is advised. *(Dexter is in his lab using a welder to finish his invention) *'Dexter:' Ahh, my latest, greatest work is just about completed! Hm, one more adjustment to the flux motivator. *(He goes back to welding; Dee Dee peeks inside the lab and merrily skips inside) *'Dee Dee:' Ooooh. Dexter's got gas! *(She flips over the canisters and lands on the hose with her heel as she slides over to Dexter; Dee Dee grabs the hose and the welder stops working; Dexter lifts his mask and looks at the hose; Dee Dee lets the hose go and the nozzle blasts Dexter's face, leaving him with dark hair) *'Dee Dee:' Whatcha doin'? Are you makin' a shrink ray? Hm? Or a remote controller that can turn you into animals? Hm? Hm? Or is it just another dumb robot? Hm? What is it? Huh? Huh? *'Dexter:' Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! So you want to know what my ingenious invention is, do you? *'Dee Dee:' You know it, bro. *'Dexter:' *''Dramatically''* It is great, that's what it is! *''Normal tone''* This machine has the ability to remove and contain the most annoying personality trait known to man: Rudeness. Behold, The Rude Removal System! *(The camera pulls out to reveal the Rude Removal System; it then cuts to Dexter standing in front of a chart) *'Dexter:' Okay, listen. To simplify this, Dee Dee minus rude equals happy Dexter. *(As he explains, the camera pans over the entire chart with Dexter standing at the other side smiling) *'Dee Dee:' Oh yeah?! *''she pokes Dexter's eye''* You're the rude one, brother! *'Dexter:' It is you that is rude! *'Dee Dee:' No, you! *'Dexter:' No, you! *'Dee Dee:' You! *'Dexter:' YOU! *'Dee Dee:' YOU! *'Dee Dee:' *''sarcastically''* You're right, Dexter. I am the rude one. *''she purposefully kicks Dexter''* See? *(Dexter flies over to the Rude Removal System and slams on the red button) *'Computer:' Rude Removal System activated. *(Dexter clenches his fists and runs toward Dee Dee with a battle cry; they both fight as a cloud appears over both of them; Dee Dee kicks Dexter into the Rude Removal System and she jumps after him; their fight resumes) *'Computer:' Rude Removal procedure beginning now. *(A pink cloud fills up the A tube; Dexter bangs on the glass; the cloud goes over to the B tube; Dexter and Dee Dee look at it) *'Computer:' Rude Removal procedure completed. *'Dee Dee:' *''English accent''* Bravo, Dexter, your Rude Removal System is a smashing success! *'Dexter:' *''English accent''* Quite. Like I said before, it takes the rudeness of a person, removes it, and then contains it. *(The cloud in the B tube fades away; two kids who look very similar to Dee Dee and Dexter come out) *'Rude Dexter:' Where the fuck are we? *'Rude Dee Dee:' Beats the crap outta me! *'Dexter:' Why, you're in Dexter's laboratory, silly! I'm Dexter. And this golden-haired angel behind me is my charming sister, Dee Dee. *(Dee Dee curtsies) *'Dee Dee:' Charmed! *'Rude Dexter:' Ah, fuck off! *'Dee Dee and Dexter:' *''gasp''* Oh dear. *'Dexter:' Ahem. Excuse me sir, but we think that was very rude, and we are in want of an apology. *'Rude Dexter:' Yeah, here's your fucking 'pology! *'Mom:' *''offscreen''* Kids! Lunchtime! *'Rude Dexter:' Lunchtime! I'm fucking starvin'! *(He pushes Dexter onto the ground and forges to the kitchen with Rude Dee Dee beside him) *'Dee Dee:' Dexter? I'm sorry those meanies broke your machine and made you look like a wimp. *'Dexter:' Why, it's okay, Dee Dee. Maybe they'll be in better spirits after eating some of Mom's delicious cooking. *(They smile and lick their lips) *'Dee Dee and Dexter:' Mmm! *(Cut to the kitchen; Mom is seen mixing batter; Rude Dee Dee kicks the door open) *'Mom:' Kids, have a seat. I'll be right with you. *(The rude kids fight over a seat; Rude Dee Dee pushes Rude Dexter out of the way using her hip; Mom walks over to the table; Rude Dexter lands in front of her and Mom trips over him) *'Mom:' I hope you're hungry because I've made a- *''grunts''* speciallunchthatIgotfromarecipethatIfoundinaspecialBettyCrockermagazine! *''huffing''* I hope you like it. *(She gets up from the floor with green stars and dots circling her head; Rude Dexter chews the food) *'Mom:' Well, whaddya think, Dexter? *'Rude Dexter:' *''with a full mouth''* I think it taste like shit! *(He spits the food at a shocked Mom; Mom falls to the floor) *'Mom:' Oh! *(Rude Dee Dee takes the bowl, sticks her entire face in it, and gobbles away) *'Rude Dexter:' I gots to find some fucking food! *(He walks over to the fridge and starts throwing out food) *'Rude Dexter:' No! No! Uh-uh! Nada! No way! Ah! *''he pulls out a pie''* Oh baby, come to Papa. *(Mom gets up) *'Mom:' Ugh...ah? Dexter! No! Absolutely not! You cannot have any dessert. *'Rude Dexter:' Why? You want it all to yourself? *(Mom gasps, grows wrinkles, and falls to the floor; Rude Dee Dee is at a cabinet throwing out canned food and cooking ingredients) *'Rude Dee Dee:' Hey, where's the fucking candy? *(Rude Dexter is eating the pie; a can bounces off his head) *'Rude Dexter:' Hey bitch, watch where you're throwin' that, skullfucking douchebag *'Rude Dee Dee:' Okay, I will! *(She picks up a jar of peanut butter and purposefully throws it at Rude Dexter's head) *'Rude Dexter:' Hey! FOOD FIGHT! *(He throws the pie at Rude Dee Dee's head; she screams; Rude Dexter laughs and points at her; she then throws a watermelon at Rude Dexter, then laughs and points at him; the food fight resumes; Mom gets up and witnesses the chaos; she gets really angry as the background turns bright red'') *'''Mom: STOP THIS THIS INSTANT! I've had just about enough of you two! Now clean up this mess, and go to your rooms FOREVER! *'Rude Dexter:' Look lady, that's cute and all, but let me tell you somethin'. I make my own fucking rules. So why don't you do what all good mothers are supposed to do and clean it up yaself? So long, toots. *(He and Rude Dee Dee leave the kitchen) *'Rude Dexter:' Hey look, it's Dorkster and Dumb Dumb. Say, nancy pants, your mom wants ya. *(Dexter and Dee Dee walk to the kitchen holding hands) *'Dexter:' Oh my. Mother. We best see what she wants. So you're off, then? *'Rude Dexter:' Yeah, we're gonna go fuck up your lab! *(He and Rude Dee Dee run off to the lab) *'Dexter:' Well, they're nice enough fellows once you get to know them. A little rough around the edges, but- oh, hello Mother. Are you in need of us? *(Dexter and Dee Dee enter the messy kitchen as ordered by Mom as she stands next to the door) *'Mom:' Now I'm gonna get a bar of soap to wash out your filthy little mouths, and when I get back I wanna see this place spotless! *(She slams the door shut; Dexter and Dee Dee look at the mess their rude counterparts left behind *'Dexter and Dee Dee:' Oh my! *'Dexter:' Well Dee Dee, we must get to work! *(Something in Dexter's laboratory shuts down) *'Dexter:' It appears our counterparts are involved in some mischief upstairs, we should come to their aid, wouldn't you say? *'Dee Dee:' Why, yes! But what with the cleaning, dear brother? *(Dexter thinks) *'Dexter:' I got it! And its a pip of an eye via two! We'll leave a note! *(Dexter posts a note on the fridge) *'Dexter:' Oh, yes. Come, dear sister. *(In the laboratory, Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee are causing chaos while they laugh maniacally) *'Dexter:' Excuse me, sir and madam, but you must stop this senseless destruction now! *(Dee Dee wags her finger) *'Dexter:' Please. *(Rude Dexter fires a laser at them) *'Dexter and Dee Dee:' Woah! *(They both run away and hide behind a wall; Rude Dee Dee reaches for the laser gun while Rude Dexter pushes her away) *'Rude Dee Dee:' Let me play with that! *'Rude Dexter:' You're too stupid to use that, you moron! *(He whacks Rude Dee Dee with the gun) *'Dexter:' Gosh Dee Dee! I have an idea but, its a little bit blue! *'Dee Dee:' Oh! Well, let's hear it anyway! *(Dexter whispers to her) *'Dee Dee': Oh my Dexter! That is deceptive! *(They run to the Rude Removal System; Dee Dee gives Dexter the signal) *'Dexter:' Out loud Oh, I hope nobody goes into the Rude Remove System! Where they duplicate themselves even more and then they could possibly millions of rude fellows running around! *'Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee:' Yeah! *(They run to the Rude Removal System and jump inside; Dee Dee closes the B tube and Dexter starts the reversal procedure) *'Computer:' Rude Removal Reversal System activated. *(Rude Dexter and Rude Dee Dee disappear) *'Computer:' Sequence complete. *(Dexter and Dee Dee step out of the A tube) *'Dexter:' Phew! Glad that's over, no thanks to you! *'Dee Dee:' Me? I'm not the one who built that stupid thing! *'Dexter:' But I built it to remove your rudeness. *'Dee Dee:' I'm not rude, you are! *'Dexter:' No, you! For the last time you is rude been ga- *(Mom stands in the doorway with a bar of soap in her hands) *'Mom:' Now to clean those filthy mouths. *'Dexter:' Oooooh, shit. Category:Episode transcripts Category:Season 2 transcripts Category:Transcripts